Have you ever had before you a plate still beckoning with delicious treats, and you want to keep eating but your stomach screams "If you put one more bite of food in me, it's ALL coming up!!"? You know what they say when that happens and you leave food on your plate- "Your eyes were bigger than your stomach."
Josh and I had one of those moments this weekend; except our realization was that our hearts were bigger than our pockets. You see, I have a bleeding heart for animals. I can't stand to see an animal without a home, without love, without care- I. can't. stand. it. I adopted Scooby against the wishes of every family member I have when I was a senior in college. He has been my baby boy. He was the runt at the Humane Society nobody wanted. Seriously. He was so scared when they brought him to the little 'meet and greet' room he pooped!! But I wanted him anyway. I loved him anyway. When Josh and I got engaged, we wanted to adopt a dog together. My hubby's heart for animals is as big as my own. So, we adopted a little fuzzy husky mix and named her Kina. For a year we have tried to fit her into an 'indoor dog' mold; she's so not that. A few months after we got married, a kitten bound for isolation at a barn found a home with us; we dubbed him "Maverick". Knowing full and well the full house we had, a few weeks ago we opened our hearts yet again because I wanted to scoop up a sweet little pup that needed a home; Penny is what she was called.
You can see our dilemma. Our hearts are so much bigger than our pockets!! Food, vet bills, flea and tick meds, exercise, attention, grooming, and on and on and on and on and on is so much more than we could afford (financially, mentally, and emotionally) and we had to have a grown up moment and sit down and decide what to do.
After lots of prayer and consideration, we have returned Kina to the rescue we got her from. Hold on while I wipe my eyes... Watching her look back at me out of the window as they drove away ripped my heart to pieces. Penny the puppy got placed with the Humane Society and I was assured they would find her a great home. More breaking of my heart. :(
However; Kina is going to find a home somewhere I know that is going to wear her out, get her groomed, give her a spacious yard to play in, children to play with, and tons of love and kisses! Penny is so stinkin' cute someone is going to fall in love and, again, give her a yard where she can run and chase kids and bugs and bark at birds and squirrels. I just know it!!
We decided to keep Scooby and Maverick. Maverick is very low maintenance, budget friendly, and very well behaved. He's a cat that acts like a sweet, old dog. Scooby is my baby. I will hold him when he takes his last breath. Period.
So here we are. Me and the boys. I'm outnumbered! Do I miss my girls? Yes. Do I know they are in better places? OH Yes!! They deserved better than we could give, they deserve someone with pockets as big as their hearts!
So. It's bittersweet. Maybe in a few days I won't feel like I let them down, I probably won't feel like a bad pet owner anymore; I know as we prepare to discuss extending our little family of two we want to keep our dreams and desires in line with God's Will and His priorities for our life. For tonight, though, I'm going to be sad and miss my girls and pray God understands the desire of my heart that those sweet puppy souls find perfect forever homes!
Back to school tomorrow. Oh boy.
Until next time,