I Work Out

No, really. I do.

If you would have told me a year ago I would not only work out in a gym where there are men and women and lights that make it possible to see me whilst I bop around on a machine but that I would ENJOY it at the same time I would have probably given you a dirty look and then never talked to you again. Okay, I exaggerate. But seriously, I wouldn't have believed you.

Yet here I am.

A little bit lot of back story here- (feel free to skip this part if you're not into details)

{{There has never been a time in my life when I have not been chubby. In fact, that was my childhood nickname. My aunts, uncles, cousins, and even sometimes parents would all call me Chubby. It didn't bother me when it was just a cute pet name for a chunky little kid. When I got a little older and realized society did not deem it cute to be chubby, I became embarrassed by my moniker.

Fast forward through nutritionist appointments, diets, teasing by family, pressure, and depression and I managed to make it through high school with just a sliver of self confidence. I was told by doctors if I didn't diet and lose gobs of weight I would be 300 pounds by the time I graduated high school. They were wrong. Way wrong. I was active. Always have been. I played intermurals in college, went on hikes, took long walks with friends, walked Scooby two to three times a day as a puppy. I also loved eating and managed to maintain my figure that soon went from "she's chubby" to "she's curvy". My confidence began to grow as I began to find clothes that flattered my shape. I worked at a summer camp during the summers of my college career and I swam and rode horses and played ultimate frisbee and chased kiddos and friends. My curves became flattered by toned legs and arms. I felt really good about myself.

Then I began teaching. I didn't have time for summer camp; couldn't handle the work load. I didn't know anyone where I was teaching; I didn't have anywhere to go exercise. It was just me and Scooby, so I got used to eating crappy food that was within my budget; which included lots of take out because cooking for one wasn't always fun.

Soon after I met Josh- the first man to see me at my worst and best and still ooze with love in his eyes when he looks at me, a goofy grin breaking up the scruff on his face. The man God created and knew would be the most perfect partner for me as we do this life together. He has never once criticized me or tried to force me to work out. He has expressed concern for my health and well being, but has supported every decision I have ever made.

Now, I have been fighting a battle against a syndrome that has brought about a 40-50 pound weight gain. That number the doctors hung over my head is ever present and thankfully I have yet to face it. The decision to begin working out came about as a result of a few things. I was having difficulty walking after sitting for a while; I could feel how strained my legs and feet were and developed bone spurs in each of my heels. I never had enough energy for the day. No matter how much coffee I drank. Finally, the hardest and most heartbreaking: Infertility.

It is very hard to have "done everything right" (degree, husband, home; all in the "right" order) and then watch people around you giggle about getting pregnant "without trying" while you fight month after month for the two lines that promise a new chapter in your lives; a family.

Before you are tempted to unlock the secrets of making a baby for me, please trust that I have been given every piece of advice regarding reproduction; the most common being-
"Stop trying, that's when I got pregnant."
"It will happen when it should happen."
"Just trust God."
"Go on vacation, that's when it will happen!"
"Do x, y, z in the bedroom and you'll be pregnant in no time!"
"Maybe it's not meant for you."
"You can always adopt."

I understand and appreciate the compassion these words are meant to convey; but they hurt. When someone is longing to start a family with her husband, the best advice to give is none. It is best to just offer an ear and shoulder and let it be. And just as an aside... It can be really hurtful to poke fun at a couple about when they are going to have children; you have no idea the journey they are on and the comments that make infertility hurt the most are those demanding to know why we don't have children yet and why it's taking so long. It is a private matter between husband and wife and should never be made grounds for public conversation- especially over social media.

The best way to combat my syndrome is diet and exercise. And after over a year of an unsuccessful journey to start a family, I'd had enough.}}

Onward.

Josh and I joined our local YMCA at the end of June. Being a teacher where I live I get a great discount and we were stoked that we could afford a membership!

That Monday I began working out with an awesome friend. We greet with her and her husband at church and she is great! We meet 3 times a week and she helped teach me how to workout and is so good about pushing me to go a little bit further without being forceful or critical. I would not be where I am now without her. If you are like me (a little chubby around the edges) and you are nervous about working out, it was SO helpful to me to have an experienced friend be willing to lead the way and stand by my side.

I've been at this new lifestyle for a month now, and I have already noticed some changes:
-I have ankles again!
-My calves are becoming defined and muscular again
-My thighs have shrunk. A little. (with a LONG way to go!)
-The muscles in my arms are toning and becoming more defined
-My face is getting thinner (thank goodness!!)
-I can walk through a parking lot or around my neighborhood without being bothered or gasping for breath.
-I don't feel so fatigued
-I don't drink as much coffee
-Working out clears my head and relieves stress
-I sleep better at night
-My husband is seeing and enjoying me in a new light

It's awesome. So awesome. I'm doing this. I'm really doing it. So, for those of you out there who were like me a year ago that would read this stuff and say "Psh. That's great for her but won't work for me." I give you:

A Chubby Girl's Best Advice for Other Chubby Girls that {might} Want to Work Out-
-If you are intimidated, find someone that will support you and do this with you (my husband and friend Kacey are awesome!)
-Get. good. shoes. My sneakers are in bad shape and really hindering me right now. I'm hoping to be able to afford these soon.
-Get.a.good.bra. This is self explanatory. I snagged this one on Clearance at target and like it.
-Invest in some comfortable workout clothes that make you feel good. I love these pants. They are the cheapest I have found and smooth everything out while being very breathable and low friction. These tops are the best fitted and priced that I have found and are very flattering and comfortable for a woman with curves.
-Focus on cardio. If you are trying to slim down, weight lifting will not do it. That will just build muscles underneath your fat. Instead, I do 30-40 minutes (I started with 20 and have been working my way up) on an elliptical machine. It is very low impact and does not hurt my knees. I avoid treadmills because my knees can't take the impact. Then we will do arm workouts with light hand weights and lots of reps on one day, leg workouts on the leg machines with light weight and lots of reps another day. The goal is to get your heart rate up and keep it up for at least 30 minutes. This boosts your metabolism and endurance. Make sure you stretch before and after to prepare muscles and then work out lactic acid. A good stretch after keeps the soreness down and helps you cool down and get your heart rate back to normal.
-Build a playlist that pumps you up and gets you excited and motivates you! Then use it and feel encouraged by the fact that you are being a good steward of the body given to you!

I'm not a medical professional, but I have become very passionate about taking care of my body and being my best self. I want the life I live to be full of experiences and memories; not hours on the couch wishing I could go for a hike or that my ankles would quit hurting and back would quit aching. I want to be able to chase my children or get in the floor and play with them. Josh and I will have a family one day and I will be an active mom on the go able to keep up with her kiddos.

So this was just about a novel, but one of the most important posts I believe I have ever written. I thank God for the motivation every day to share love, press on, leave no regrets, and take care of my family.

             

Organized My Chaos

I don't know why, but I always like to start my stories off with the word "So." I think it's my attempt at convincing the poor soul I've wrangled into conversation that the story is life changing and epic. 

So, (you see what I did there?) one day over Christmas break I told Josh I was tired of how our house was so disorganized. Namely, our bathroom storage and closet storage. When I moved in I used our linen closet, bathroom closet, and bathroom cabinets as various 'shove stuff that doesn't have anywhere to go' spots. You know things are disorganized when the Advil is hanging out next to the Lysol toilet cleaner. Just keepin' it real, folks.

Anyway- this a little bit of what we were working with:

linen closet at the end of the hallway.

bottom half of master bathroom closet

top half of master bathroom closet

medicine & cleaning supplies. for shame. master bathroom cabinets.

master bathroom cabinets

I'd had enough of this mess. And when you've had enough of anything, there's only one place to go: Dollar Tree. I knew they carried lots of baskets and such because they are where I run when I need organization stuff for my classroom. Kids demolish anything, cheap or expensive, so I love having what I need for a very replaceable price.

When I got to Dollar Tree the Heavens opened and angels sang: They had brought in shelves upon shelves of buckets and baskets and bins (oh my!) to replace all of the Christmas decor. So naturally I wiped the drool from my chin and filled up my cart.

the picture I sent my husband. he knew better than to question my madness.

 Once I got home I started with the linen closet (the smallest/easiest) in the hallway. I took everything out and laid it on my bed. I sorted through all the items making piles to put back, donate, and trash. When all my schtuff was grouped I grabbed a few of the bins and further categorized the 'put back' things into handtowels/washcloths for the spare bathroom, extra home decor, and misc items. I then arranged the baskets and bins, found I had the room in the bottom to stash some cleaning appliances (woot!), and then stepped back to admire my work.

before. blech

after. gorjuss. and the vacuum fits!

I was so excited with those results I carried on (my wayward, sonnn) and used the same process on the master bathroom closet:

before. guh-rosss

after. do you hear angels? i hear angels.

Aaaaand the master bathroom cabinets:

before. dane-juh-russ medicine/cleaning chemicals mess

(lady products are behind the left door)after. medicine is in the closet now. huzzah!

before. random stuffs.

after. soaps in the basket. hardware, paint, etc on the right

I was on such an organizational high after all of this that I pushed forward (my back was killing me with all the bending and squatting and carrying back and forth. I cared not!) and cleaned out/organized the spare bathroom cabinet and the cabinet under the kitchen sink. I forgot to take pictures of those, but they had very similar yucky befores/beautiful afters. :)

Finally, I took care of one last problem. I was oh. so. tired. of wet towels ending up on our bed, in the floor, and hanging over the shower curtain. Both Josh and I will use a bath towel a few times before tossing it in the laundry (you're clean when you dry off from a shower, so why only use it once?) so I thought and thought until I came across this pin and was inspired:

source

We've had a towel bar in our bathroom since we moved in and the only purpose it has served is to hold a decorative towel. I decided it was fired.

Cute, but not working for us.

It did not want to go quietly. I had to google how to remove a towel bar that doesn't have outside screws. This webpage helped me a lot. Josh had to bring home his allen wrenches and I had to use the teeniest, tiniest one! I unscrewed the itty bitty set screw-

Which left me with this-

So then I popped that off with a flat head screwdriver (my PINK one! holla!)-

Which left me with this-

owner before us used a variety of screws. very frankensteinish.

So then I unscrewed the Frankenstein screws and had this-

Which I covered with spackle and then smoothed and painted-

After doing that process with both sides, painting, and allowing time to dry, I mounted two coat hooks I got at Target for a couple bucks.

Then I finished them off by adding the adorable little round frames (Hobby Lobby 50% off). To do the letters of our names I sprayed some cardstock with chalkboard spray paint and free handed the 'a' and 'j' with a sharpened piece of chalk.

Now we have a designated spot for our towels and they are easy to grab from the shower and can hang there and dry after being used. Functional and so pretty! Love!

Organizing those spaces of your home that get so easily cluttered really help keep stress levels down and allow you to put more time and energy into things that matter a lot more!

Until next time,
-A

Resolutions... take II

 So, last year around this time I did a post about the 'resolutions' I wanted to work on for 2012. I thought this year I would take a look at those and reflect on how I did and in what ways I can improve for 2013. Ready? Here we go!

1) for 2012: {Get in shape. I know what you're thinking- "You just said that was typical!". Well making a big push to lose holiday weight is always a big deal, but that's not what I'm talking about. This past year I lived a very unhealthy lifestyle, and it has taken its toll. My skin, my weight, my moods, my energy- no good!! I'm resolving to cut out simple carbs (this is kind of necessary due to insulin resistance I have developed) and to begin exercising regularly to get in shape!! This is going to be a biggie- and probably the hardest for me.}

for 2013: This goal has been a roller coaster. I had periods of time where I was losing weight and at each visit to my doctor my weight was going down. I've also had periods where I've felt overwhelmed and put the weight back on. And then I would lose it again. This goal is a battle for a lifestyle. As I go into 2013 I've got my eyes on not what I want to lose, but what I want to gain: feeling better and ditching the aches and pains from the weight, having energy to spare, starting a family, being able to work out with my husband, getting rid of the couch potato lifestyle, and finally- looking at photos of myself and enjoying the memory rather than feeling shame about how I appear.

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2) for 2012: {Commit to keeping my house clutter free. I'm a pack rat. I married a pack rat. I have seen way too many hoarders episodes to be comfortable keeping junk anymore. So in 2012 I will continue de-cluttering and keeping my house simple and neat. I'm very excited about this one! Less clutter leads to more projects! And we all know I love projects!!}

for 2013: I rocked this resolution!!!! The only problem is I should have said "Get rid of the clutter" rather than "Keep it clutter free". It took the entire year to rid our house of most of the clutter. My biggest advice- take it room by room. Even today after I finish writing this post I will be cleaning and re-organizing my office because it looks like Christmas exploded in there. I have to refuse to be overwhelmed by the mess (being OCD I want everything in its place all the time and I have to fight the urge to be stressed when it's not that way) and just take things one space at a time. I am WAY more productive that way. So for this year I'm going to focus on painting the kitchen cabinets and reorganizing them to better suit our needs, keeping up with laundry and putting things away, and being careful about impulse buys so I don't bring things into our home that are not going to be used.

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3) for 2012: {Be committed to serving in a church. God led us in an unexpected direction church-wise this year and it has been awesome to see God bless our obedience, but it is hard to get plugged into and committed to another church. Please pray for us that our hearts will ignite with passion and we will find a place to serve.}

for 2013: God was so faithful! Josh and I joined Newspring Church and not only attend church now, but we are plugged in serving God through being a part of their Greeting Team! We have seen so much growth in our relationship as a married couple through us taking care of our individual relationships with the Lord. We communicate better, we are in better moods, and we enjoy the time we get to spend together volunteering. We've made new friends and look forward to volunteering faithfully and continuing to take our next steps with God!

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4) for 2012: {Get out of debt!! Honestly, I don't really consider 2 credit cards and a home loan a lot of debt but it's important to me to be debt free. We need to purchase another vehicle and will not be able to do so until I get these credit cards off my back.}

for 2013: Y'all. This is hard. Financial hardship always seems to hit you when you're down. We have worked really hard this year to pay debt off and make better financial choices. We were very blessed to be able to purchase Josh a vehicle (even if it is an ole rust bucket- we love it regardless!) but we still have debt to take on. We were wasteful with our income tax money last year and will be very disciplined this year in using that money in ways that God leads us. My best advice when it comes to living comfortably on a not comfortable income: tithe. Every time we have tithed and been faithful in giving our 10% back to God, He has been SO faithful in providing for us. Every. single. time.

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5) for 2012: {Save, save, save money!!!! Our responsibility with money has matured a whole HECK of a lot (I'm not sure how much a heck is, but it's gotta be a bunch!); however, in order to visit one of my best friends in England, feel comfortable talking about having babies, visit precious friends that live in California, and be able to pay our bills without ridiculous juggling and pushing due dates- we gotta get ahead of the game. Paycheck to paycheck ain't gonna work.}

for 2013: Again- money is a hard one. We did an okay job of saving here and there for small things we wanted, but in the grand scheme of things we did not make very calculated decisions and were not able to save any big bucks for any big trips. We feel pretty good about where we are in regards to whenever God blesses us with starting a family. Ideally I would love to be able to stay home and raise our children and teach part time or substitute, but if I had to continue teaching we would trust the Lord for that and just be overjoyed He finally blessed us with a family. We also love giving and being able to do things for our families and would love to be in a better position to do so.

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Overall I have to say we did a bang up job growing together as a couple and doing our very best to soak in every drop of joy and opportunity given us by this one wild and precious life.

I have a feeling 2013 is going to be the best yet. :)

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-A

Resolutions

Oh yes. The time is upon us! As this brand spankin' new year approaches, I can't help but sit back and think on some 'resolutions'. Oh of course I've thought of the typical 'lose weight, be nicer, find a cure for cancer, etc, etc', BUT (and this may be a resolution in and of itself) I want to make some really good, realistic, challenging, relevant resolutions this year. I don't know about you, but often throughout the year I get stuck in a rut. I don't like who I am at those times; I feel like I've lost my happy, jolly self and don't know what to do. I'm resolving this year to make some important changes.

1) Get in shape. I know what you're thinking- "You just said that was typical!". Well making a big push to lose holiday weight is always a big deal, but that's not what I'm talking about. This past year I lived a very unhealthy lifestyle, and it has taken its toll. My skin, my weight, my moods, my energy- no good!! I'm resolving to cut out simple carbs (this is kind of necessary due to insulin resistance I have developed) and to begin exercising regularly to get in shape!! This is going to be a biggie- and probably the hardest for me.

2) Commit to keeping my house clutter free. I'm a pack rat. I married a pack rat. I have seen way too many hoarders episodes to be comfortable keeping junk anymore. So in 2012 I will continue de-cluttering and keeping my house simple and neat. I'm very excited about this one! Less clutter leads to more projects! And we all know I love projects!!

3) Be committed to serving in a church. God led us in an unexpected direction church-wise this year and it has been awesome to see God bless our obedience, but it is hard to get plugged into and committed to another church. Please pray for us that our hearts will ignite with passion and we will find a place to serve.

4) Get out of debt!! Honestly, I don't really consider 2 credit cards and a home loan a lot of debt but it's important to me to be debt free. We need to purchase another vehicle and will not be able to do so until I get these credit cards off my back.

5) Save, save, save money!!!! Our responsibility with money has matured a whole HECK of a lot (I'm not sure how much a heck is, but it's gotta be a bunch!); however, in order to visit one of my best friends in England, feel comfortable talking about having babies, visit precious friends that live in California, and be able to pay our bills without ridiculous juggling and pushing due dates- we gotta get ahead of the game. Paycheck to paycheck ain't gonna work.

Over all, I think this is a good start. There are lots of other things I would love to work on when it comes to improving myself. It's my firm belief we need to strive to improve. Being content with how we are leads to laziness and complacency. Don't get me wrong! You should love who you are!! For sure! But you shouldn't make excuses for habits and quirks that you know are not letting you live the best life you could. Trust me- I've been through a lot this year and I know.

Dealing with a terrible workplace at the beginning of this year, working for someone who enjoyed breaking down my confidence and self esteem, eventually losing my job due to said person, being forced to find a job a week before I got married, running my credit cards to the max to afford my simple wedding, working so hard to convince an underwriter to approve my home loan, dealing with a variety of serious medical issues, eating spaghetti over and over because we couldn't afford groceries for a few months, and struggling to understand my role as a wife the first 6 months of my marriage almost broke me. Like I said, I know.

But I can still look at this year and my eyes mist over at the incredible amount of blessings I've experienced- having the man God hand picked for me ask me to spend the rest of my life with him, becoming a homeowner and moving into a beautiful house, being showered with love and gifts by so many family and friends before we got married, finding another teaching job before I even got married at a place where I am valued and praised for my very hard work, adding a sweet little girl named Kina and a mischievous little guy named Maverick to our small family, walking down the aisle in a gorgeous dress to become the Mrs. to my very best friend, and because of that acquiring a new family who's been so incredibly helpful and along with the rest of our family been our cheerleaders, and finally reaching a place in our marriage where we understand each other and spend our evenings together, not against one another. Boy am I blessed!!

And I cannot wait to see what next year has in store!!

Until the new year,