Two Fingers!

Daxon,
Goodness gracious, you are already two years old! How can that even be? The past year has been a whirlwind. There has been a lot of loss in our family, and I'm thankful you are too young to remember the pain and grief. Your daddy and I look forward to telling you lots of stories about Memaw, Grandaddy Bill, and Uncle Ricky. They were wonderful people and we miss them a lot. Losing them has been hard; but son- your contagious smile and love of laughter has kept us all feeling warmth and sunshine!

One of my favorite things about you right now is how quickly you learn. You are forever studying the world around you trying to figure everything out. When you think you've got it, you light up and tell us all about your discovery; whether we understand you or not. You will take things a part and put them back together over and over and over just to make sure you know how it works.

You also love people. Everywhere we go, people stop to admire your head full of wild curls and try to sneak a smile out of you. You will raise one hand up in an acknowledging wave to other kids, and as we enter and exit places it's not uncommon to hear you say "Hi, people!" or "Bye, people!". Two separate strangers now have given you a dollar just for being a bright spot in their day. I wish I were that cute!

Learning to obey and respect what Mama and Daddy say is a challenge for you right now, because you are just so darn curious! Time out has become routine in our house as well as a few spankings for a bossy attitude and brave (read: give-your-mama-a-heart-attack-unsafe) choices I had no idea could exist in someone so little. We love you unconditionally regardless, but just know we are doing the best we can to teach you how to express your feelings in a way that is healthy and safe.

Your love for Paw Patrol almost beats my love for coffee. It is an all consuming passion. For your birthday, we gave you your first set of action figures- all the Paw Patrol pups, of course. It has been so fun to watch you play with them and imitate the fun rescues we watch over and over (and. over.) on television in the early morning hours when you are convinced it's time to be awake.

Speaking of early mornings, let's talk about your early rising tendencies. Neither your father nor I are morning people- we detest mornings. Please learn to love sleeping in, and we may learn to love you in the morning a little more. Just kidding- we always love you, we just don't like you very much at 6am on Saturday and Sunday.

Watching you soak in the outdoors and experience nature is another one of my favorite parts of life with you. Hearing you shout "Shoo, bee!" is one of the cutest things ever and it makes me so happy to swing you between the two big trees in our back yard. Playing outside is how I grew up and I hope you will continue to love it as well. You won't really have a choice. I'll do like your Nana did to me and Aunt Ashy and I'll lock you outside until you learn to love it!

Dax, as you continue to grow big and strong always remember that Mama and Daddy are so proud of you and love you always, and Jesus loves you even more than we do. You can always run to the Father to seek unconditional love, clarity, and peace. 2 years down, my boy. I can't wait to see what adventures and blessings are in store your third year of life!

Love forever,
Mama

I Work Out

No, really. I do.

If you would have told me a year ago I would not only work out in a gym where there are men and women and lights that make it possible to see me whilst I bop around on a machine but that I would ENJOY it at the same time I would have probably given you a dirty look and then never talked to you again. Okay, I exaggerate. But seriously, I wouldn't have believed you.

Yet here I am.

A little bit lot of back story here- (feel free to skip this part if you're not into details)

{{There has never been a time in my life when I have not been chubby. In fact, that was my childhood nickname. My aunts, uncles, cousins, and even sometimes parents would all call me Chubby. It didn't bother me when it was just a cute pet name for a chunky little kid. When I got a little older and realized society did not deem it cute to be chubby, I became embarrassed by my moniker.

Fast forward through nutritionist appointments, diets, teasing by family, pressure, and depression and I managed to make it through high school with just a sliver of self confidence. I was told by doctors if I didn't diet and lose gobs of weight I would be 300 pounds by the time I graduated high school. They were wrong. Way wrong. I was active. Always have been. I played intermurals in college, went on hikes, took long walks with friends, walked Scooby two to three times a day as a puppy. I also loved eating and managed to maintain my figure that soon went from "she's chubby" to "she's curvy". My confidence began to grow as I began to find clothes that flattered my shape. I worked at a summer camp during the summers of my college career and I swam and rode horses and played ultimate frisbee and chased kiddos and friends. My curves became flattered by toned legs and arms. I felt really good about myself.

Then I began teaching. I didn't have time for summer camp; couldn't handle the work load. I didn't know anyone where I was teaching; I didn't have anywhere to go exercise. It was just me and Scooby, so I got used to eating crappy food that was within my budget; which included lots of take out because cooking for one wasn't always fun.

Soon after I met Josh- the first man to see me at my worst and best and still ooze with love in his eyes when he looks at me, a goofy grin breaking up the scruff on his face. The man God created and knew would be the most perfect partner for me as we do this life together. He has never once criticized me or tried to force me to work out. He has expressed concern for my health and well being, but has supported every decision I have ever made.

Now, I have been fighting a battle against a syndrome that has brought about a 40-50 pound weight gain. That number the doctors hung over my head is ever present and thankfully I have yet to face it. The decision to begin working out came about as a result of a few things. I was having difficulty walking after sitting for a while; I could feel how strained my legs and feet were and developed bone spurs in each of my heels. I never had enough energy for the day. No matter how much coffee I drank. Finally, the hardest and most heartbreaking: Infertility.

It is very hard to have "done everything right" (degree, husband, home; all in the "right" order) and then watch people around you giggle about getting pregnant "without trying" while you fight month after month for the two lines that promise a new chapter in your lives; a family.

Before you are tempted to unlock the secrets of making a baby for me, please trust that I have been given every piece of advice regarding reproduction; the most common being-
"Stop trying, that's when I got pregnant."
"It will happen when it should happen."
"Just trust God."
"Go on vacation, that's when it will happen!"
"Do x, y, z in the bedroom and you'll be pregnant in no time!"
"Maybe it's not meant for you."
"You can always adopt."

I understand and appreciate the compassion these words are meant to convey; but they hurt. When someone is longing to start a family with her husband, the best advice to give is none. It is best to just offer an ear and shoulder and let it be. And just as an aside... It can be really hurtful to poke fun at a couple about when they are going to have children; you have no idea the journey they are on and the comments that make infertility hurt the most are those demanding to know why we don't have children yet and why it's taking so long. It is a private matter between husband and wife and should never be made grounds for public conversation- especially over social media.

The best way to combat my syndrome is diet and exercise. And after over a year of an unsuccessful journey to start a family, I'd had enough.}}

Onward.

Josh and I joined our local YMCA at the end of June. Being a teacher where I live I get a great discount and we were stoked that we could afford a membership!

That Monday I began working out with an awesome friend. We greet with her and her husband at church and she is great! We meet 3 times a week and she helped teach me how to workout and is so good about pushing me to go a little bit further without being forceful or critical. I would not be where I am now without her. If you are like me (a little chubby around the edges) and you are nervous about working out, it was SO helpful to me to have an experienced friend be willing to lead the way and stand by my side.

I've been at this new lifestyle for a month now, and I have already noticed some changes:
-I have ankles again!
-My calves are becoming defined and muscular again
-My thighs have shrunk. A little. (with a LONG way to go!)
-The muscles in my arms are toning and becoming more defined
-My face is getting thinner (thank goodness!!)
-I can walk through a parking lot or around my neighborhood without being bothered or gasping for breath.
-I don't feel so fatigued
-I don't drink as much coffee
-Working out clears my head and relieves stress
-I sleep better at night
-My husband is seeing and enjoying me in a new light

It's awesome. So awesome. I'm doing this. I'm really doing it. So, for those of you out there who were like me a year ago that would read this stuff and say "Psh. That's great for her but won't work for me." I give you:

A Chubby Girl's Best Advice for Other Chubby Girls that {might} Want to Work Out-
-If you are intimidated, find someone that will support you and do this with you (my husband and friend Kacey are awesome!)
-Get. good. shoes. My sneakers are in bad shape and really hindering me right now. I'm hoping to be able to afford these soon.
-Get.a.good.bra. This is self explanatory. I snagged this one on Clearance at target and like it.
-Invest in some comfortable workout clothes that make you feel good. I love these pants. They are the cheapest I have found and smooth everything out while being very breathable and low friction. These tops are the best fitted and priced that I have found and are very flattering and comfortable for a woman with curves.
-Focus on cardio. If you are trying to slim down, weight lifting will not do it. That will just build muscles underneath your fat. Instead, I do 30-40 minutes (I started with 20 and have been working my way up) on an elliptical machine. It is very low impact and does not hurt my knees. I avoid treadmills because my knees can't take the impact. Then we will do arm workouts with light hand weights and lots of reps on one day, leg workouts on the leg machines with light weight and lots of reps another day. The goal is to get your heart rate up and keep it up for at least 30 minutes. This boosts your metabolism and endurance. Make sure you stretch before and after to prepare muscles and then work out lactic acid. A good stretch after keeps the soreness down and helps you cool down and get your heart rate back to normal.
-Build a playlist that pumps you up and gets you excited and motivates you! Then use it and feel encouraged by the fact that you are being a good steward of the body given to you!

I'm not a medical professional, but I have become very passionate about taking care of my body and being my best self. I want the life I live to be full of experiences and memories; not hours on the couch wishing I could go for a hike or that my ankles would quit hurting and back would quit aching. I want to be able to chase my children or get in the floor and play with them. Josh and I will have a family one day and I will be an active mom on the go able to keep up with her kiddos.

So this was just about a novel, but one of the most important posts I believe I have ever written. I thank God for the motivation every day to share love, press on, leave no regrets, and take care of my family.

             

Home

I normally post a lot more during the summer, but I have to be honest- I've been savoring every drop of this summer break (and keeping quite busy!). I'm normally a project-a-holic and have tackled a few things, but the theme of my summer thus far has been soaking up quality time with people I care about. And I would not change a thing about that! 

I find myself thinking I must be dreaming when I stop to think about all the blessings around me. I have a beautiful home that keeps me safe and welcomes friendly laughter over meals, tea, coffee, and even video games; I have a job that is hard- but the good kind of hard that makes you smile at the end of the day- and I am so very passionate about; I have in me the capability to nurse puppies back to health and return them to be adopted to forever homes; I have loving, funny, supportive family all around me cheering on the life Josh and I have established and are maintaining; I have a comfortable, dependable vehicle with features that make me feel sheepishly spoiled as an American; we have a variety of friends that keep our glasses filled and our eyes bright with laughter; and I have him. The man who knows how to push every button at once, yet when fear begins to crowd my thoughts wraps me up in two very strong, tender arms. He is home to me and I adore him. I can barely believe I get to keep him my whole life as my husband. I would rather live in a cardboard box fighting every day with him than be catered to in a mansion with anyone else.

This summer, I am enjoying home.

-A

1, 051, 200

 1, 051, 200 minutes.

That's two years. We promised forever two years ago yesterday.

(Funny story- I didn't even realize that I started last year's anniversary post the same way... I was even going to add the video for the song again. Le predictable.)

How do you measure a year?

Our second year of marriage has been measured in:

- Leaving our mark during our anniversary trip to Pigeon Forge {June 2012}

-Making cutesy apple pie for our now traditional Atkins July 4th Fireworksapalooza. {July 2012}

-Sweet love note in my lunch box on my first day of school. {August 2012}

-Celebrating Ashley & Tim's marriage. {September 2012}

-Adopting our sweet princess Autumn. {September 2012}

-Welcoming the most precious nephew ever to this world! {October 2012}

-Voting in my first presidential election. {November 2012}

-Waiting for Santa, a family ornament, and starting our own tradition. {December 2012}

-Celebrating the new year with an early birthday present for Josh. {January 2013}

-Having the Atkins family over for supper & playing Guitar Hero for hours. {January 2013}

-Getting in the Word together and Josh cooking breakfast each morning. {January 2013}

-Greeting at our church on Sundays, Dunkin Donuts in hand. {February 2013}

-Becoming foster parents for sweet puppies in need of furever homes. {February 2013}

-Valentine's day love notes. <3 {February 2013}

-Discovering our emoji keyboards. {March 2013}

-Tackling yard work & rediscovering Josh's carving on the tree in our front yard. {April 2013}

-Celebrating the success of our very first deck garden. {May 2013}

-Getting nursed back to health by myself and his babies after mouth surgery. {May 2013}

-Savoring rare Cracker Barrel breakfast dates together before running errands. {June 2013}

-Ending this year of marriage with a perfect anniversary gift. {June 2013}

Last year we meant to go to a fancy restaurant for supper. Instead we ended up at Mellow Mushroom and loved it! This year, our celebration was low key. We met for lunch, exchanged cards, and cooked supper together. I'm not normally a card person when it comes to holidays, but I do love exchanging cards with him because they will one day be such a neat love story to leave behind for our grandchildren and great-grandchildren. We ended the evening looking back through our wedding photo book and, just like last year, we wrote down a lesson this year has taught us.

This year's lesson? "Be content in your circumstances; not complacent, but content." We must be good stewards and trust God in regards to our finances, careers, infertility struggle, and relationship.

As we continue on this journey together we cannot wait to see what the future holds!

Two years. And hopefully many, many more.

-A

Summah To Do

Summer vacation is finally here!!!! 

Along with a little extra sleep, taking my time eating lunch, spending quality time with people I care about, and actually going to the bathroom whenever I want, I always get excited over the prospect of new projects around the house!

On deck for summah time we have (along with some photos for inspiration)-

*FINALLY painting the kitchen cabinets! I'm so ready for this y'all.

source

*Doing a switcharoo with the office/spare/bonus room. I need more sewing/crafting space and the current office will become a lovely man cave/dog room. We have a dark blue/teal-ish paint to use that I would love to use and incorporate Josh's love for all things Clemson with some bold orange accents, and I'm seeing it paired with some bold reds and neutral textures for my craft/office space. {yeesh, backslashing much here?!}

office space. source

man cave. source

*Painting the bonus room, man cave, & spare bedroom

office space in bonus room. source

man cave. source

spare bedroom. source

*Painting our deck using Behr's new line of deck over paint (follow the link for a great review!)

Behr deck over paint. source

*Possibly building some furniture for our living room & kitchen

ana white coffee table. source

ana white farmhouse table. source

 So that's the plan. You know what they say about plans... but it will be fun to see how everything plays out!

What are you up to this summer?

-A

Life Lately

I've had a bunch of little things I have wanted to post about lately, but the motivation to do a bunch of separate posts is nonexistent so I'm just going to cram them all into one and give you lots of pictures to sum up life lately. :)


Here we go!

First up are two little thrifting makeovers: a little $2 mail box and $4 bread box.

 A good scrub, a few coats of white spray paint, and some tlc and this box has helped cut the mail clutter and finish off our little "command center".

Before- hook missing

Before

I used a tiny screwdriver to remove the hardware on the box.

I would have preferred wood filler to even out the missing hook, but this is what we had.

Let it dry, lightly sanded it- all better!

A few coats of spray white paint & primer in one.

After!

Love our command center!

A good scrub, some white spray paint, and two new swanky knobs and the bread box was brought back to life! We love this thing and it is now one of my favorite things about our kitchen.

before

plain jane knobs

Hello gorgeous!

Knobs came from Lowe's

 On May 11th of this year I got to help host a baby shower for a friend I have had since Preschool! She and her hubs welcomed a sweet baby boy to this world on 05/24 and I loved being able to help get them ready!

Outside. Before the rain. :(

Sweet little favors my twinsie made!

My gift- a diaper wreath!

About the diaper wreath- it was so easy! A little time consuming, but will be my go to gift for baby showers now. :) The diapers are tied with balloon ribbon around a duct taped pool noodle (we couldn't find a wreath form large enough and the noodle was only $1!) and I got the idea to make a little pea pod out of the washcloths from Pinterest. Everything is tied on except for the blue ribbon that came with a sticky tag and I did have to glue gun the "G" in place.

floating tea lights, lime slices, baby's breath, clear vases and blue mason jars were easy and beautiful decor!

I had to take the opportunity to snag a picture with mah man. We don't take enough together!

Y'ALL! My twinsie and brother in law made this beautiful cake! It looked and tasted incredible!

 We have lots more babies in our deck garden now!!! Can't wait to try out zucchini lasagna and eggplant parmesan and pickling cucumbers- and don't even get me started on the tomato sandwiches!

Baby zuchinni

Our better boys are growing like weeds!

Teeny baby green pepper

Lots of baby cherry tomatoes!

All cucumber vines on deck! :P

sweet williams flowers on the left, basil in the middle, stevia on the right. love my herb box!

Finally, I can't wait to spend a few summer days being lazy with these two-

Such a hard life being spoiled rotten

Until next time,
-A