Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The M Word

Marriage. Oh man. If I have learned anything lately, it's that I don't know everything. That revelation was quite a letdown, if little ole me is being honest. I was a know-it-all in school (not the loud, annoying one; rather the quiet, nobody-knows-who-she-is-but-she-somehow-always-ends-up-on-honor-roll type). I am NOT a know it all when it comes to marriage. My husband would firmly nod his head in agreement right now. But! I am learning.

For example: When we first got married, I was overly sensitive. I thought Walt Disney had it right in the way women are supposed to be treated. I'm referring to the princesses, of course. Can I just throw in there that Belle was always my favorite? I have a soft spot for being a bookworm. Plus her prince was rugged with long blonde locks and piercing blue eyes...
Okay, okay, I'll stop now.

Anyways, I thought my husband was supposed to make those guys look like newbies in the romance department. Mr. Walt you made some great movies but TOTALLY led me astray when it comes to the romantic expectations I should have of my husband. He lets me down. Not because he doesn't try (or hasn't ever tried is probably a more accurate way to say that) but because his 'romantic' actions aren't things I would have thought to be meant to sweep me off my tired, swollen feet. So when we first got married I spent a lot of time building up resentment and frustration and hurt feelings over things that, for the most part, weren't his fault. Lesson learned. Things are much better now. :)

It all really boils down to communication. That idea was emphasized in a major way today. We have no water right now. No stinkin' water. Thanks to not paying attention when the wife is talking and not following up with the husband to make sure he heard, we won't have water until tomorrow. If they are quick about turning it back on. So, who is left without a shower and a way to wash dishes tonight?! That would be me. Oh and don't forget the $40 they need to conveniently charge us just to turn it back on. *It's a hard knock life, for us; it's a hard knock life, for us...*

I am so mad I want to take a light saber to my husband. I am so tired. I am so ill (if you can't tell). I am so dirty (well not really, but just knowing I can't have a shower makes me feel that way. Tell me I'm not the only weird person like that?). And lemme just add *so broke* to that as well. OH man. I don't know everything about marriage.

So, if you are having a not so great day or you yourself are finding you don't completely understand your marriage- take heart. You could be disillusioned by Disney movies and longing for a light saber. You're not the only one. If you are having a great day and have a perfect marriage- bite me send a little cheer my way. I could use it. ;)

I need to go apologize to hubby for wanting to dismember him with a light saber. He doesn't deserve that. Maybe a soft kick to the shins, but not a light saber. Afterwards I'll probably just pop in a Disney movie and chomp on a PB&J since I can't cook.

Communication, people! Don't forget it.

Until next time,



  1. You are a hopeless romantic, aren't you? ;-)

  2. It gets better. It does. While Justin and I were dating, we read the book, Five Love Languages. Things became really clear as to what each of us expected and how we perceived love. We thought we had it all figured out, but then marriage came, and you're together all the time, you sometimes forget how to 'love' the other in the way they need to be we reviewed the book. Talked about what we need - and it didn't get 100% over night, and we do still fight, and I do want to find my own light saber and maybe do some dismemberment of my own at times, but it gets better. The understanding comes, as long as you are trying, praying, and making an effort to keep the communication going.
    Justin and I use the term, 'stream of consciousness' in our marriage. If we feel like we need to say something, or we've been thinking about something that the other may not like very much but we think they need to know anyway, we preface the statement with, "stream of consciousness." It helps us know that the statement is out of love and for the betterment of our marriage. We try to be open as much as possible, and that has seemed to help.
    Sorry for writing a book, I just felt like I needed post a reply since we have totally been where you are!!!

  3. You are very correct, Darnell. :) And Casie, thank you SO MUCH for your words of encouragement and advice. It's definitely work, but it's also definitely worth it. It can be so discouraging though when your relationship is going well and then in the midst of a problem it seems to fall apart. We gotta work on getting through tough times together, not one against the other. I'm going to look into getting that book. I've heard the concept many times and thought I knew what our love languages were, but now I'm not so sure. Reading the book itself I'm sure will help a lot! Thanks again and I'm looking forward to the arrival of yall's little bundle of joy!!!!!